Photo: Entertainment Tonight
“People are like, ‘Wayne Brady’s always happy!'” he says. “No I’m not. Because I’m human.”
I’ve previously posted about Bill Murray having trouble connecting with himself. A few months ago, Robin Williams committed suicide. Last week, Wayne Brady, in an interview with Entertainment Tonight, admitted to feeling the throes of depression.
I highlight comedians because for much of my life I have assumed that they were rock solid. That they emanated the type of confidence that I only dreamed of embodying. So to hear again and again that comedians are “not always happy” because they are “human” really gets me to question how I view other people.
Someone once told me that when we look at others, all we see is their highlight reel. When we look at ourselves, we see the highlights AND the bloopers. The complete failures, the dropped catches, the clumsy stumbles, and everything that is not perfect.
As we grow into a world overflowing with social media, where we are constantly shaping our messages to an amorphous and ever-judging audience, we Instagram-filter away our blemishes, tip-toe around controversial issues, and make sure we show our best side.
And we do this for whom? For our audience? For ourselves? Cultivating an image where everyone else believes that you’re perfect can hurt them because they believe they can never be as perfect as you, and then it can also hurt you, because no one is willing to tolerate your humanity, including yourself. Your tears. Your anger. Your confusion. Your lethargy. Your je ne sais quoi.
When you show the world that you’re perfect, everyone expects you to be. Including yourself. And when you have such high expectations for yourself and continually see yourself coming up short, you get trapped in this vicious cycle of shame.
So what do I say? Show the world your imperfections and appreciate those who willingly show you theirs. Thank you, Wayne Brady, for showing us a more complete version of you.
“Just to admit that you are feeling this way is a huge step. To claim that, to say, ‘Why do I feel dark? Why do I feel unhappy? Let me do something about this.'”