9:00AM
How do surprises and secrecy go together?
Last night, I was thinking about writing this book and how I haven’t told a lot of people that I’m doing it. Yes, maybe out of fear what they will think; yes, maybe out of fear of what they will say; yes, maybe out of fear of what they won’t say. I also wonder if I’m not telling them because I want to surprise them with the finished version.
I love surprising people and being surprised—some of the best memories that I have are of surprises. I traveled all the way back from Tanzania without telling my mom and knocked on the door, to which she answered with, “You’ve gotta be shitting me.” I took a girl out for her birthday and surprised her with a ice cream birthday cake with her name on it, to which she replied with the biggest smile and gasp on her face. I also have been surprised, when, for example, a girl took me on a first date hike, which ended up leading to a waterfall on the beach.
So, with this book, if I want to surprise people, then I have to not tell them about writing it or what I’m writing in it or when it’s going to come out, etc. In hiding it, I do feel a bit bad. I don’t know how to reconcile the joy of surprises and the pain of keeping secrets.
How do I market something that I want to keep as a surprise, without giving hints and teasing people along the way? How do I be open if I’m trying to hide information from someone?
I think about those relationships in which I’ve had the strongest memories of surprise, especially the romantic ones, and they’ve also been some of the relationships with the biggest fights. To give a surprise requires one to withhold information, and withholding information can also lead to distrust and unnecessary secrets. In the relationships where I’ve been more open, I’ve had less surprising memories, and yet, they have seen more aligned.
I don’t know what the answer is. I guess even when we reveal something to someone, it is going to be a surprise no matter what. Whatever happens in our minds happens faster than others know and hearing will always be some sort of shock, or “I didn’t see it coming” effect.
I really don’t know how to reconcile this yet. I love surprises and I hate hiding things, but they have to go together, no?
I’ll ponder this one today, hopefully in the sun.
9:10AM
