1:00PM
“I want to step into my role as a world leader.” I said this statement a few years ago, I think 2015, at the end of a training in Germany. It moved me to my core, and yet, I still don’t really know what it looks like.
What does “world leader” mean? Is it someone who is the head of a nation-state? Is it someone who is the head of a religious organization? Is it someone who is the head of a global organization or government? Does the person need to be in politics, religion, or something of the like? Is it someone who is the head or founder of a large business? Someone who is among the richest people in the world? Someone who has the most followers or viewers on various media platforms?
I’ve struggled with quite a few aspects related to “stepping into my role as a world leader.” I can’t seem to define what that would entail from an identity standpoint and also just from a day-to-day standpoint. Do I make laws? Do I give speeches? Do I manage organizations? Do I write books? What do I do?
I spoke with a friend the other day, someone I’ve known from East Africa for probably 10 years. She said that I’ve helped her learn so much about emotions over the years and helped her so much. I said I was grateful that I had focused my work on emotions over the last 8 years. She said that it wasn’t my work, it was me.
I often feel unsure about what I need to do to “become” who I want to be, when many people are already telling me that I am that person. That they look to me for leadership. That I provide a calm, soothing effect to them. I laughed the other day when a colleague from Australia said that to me: “You provide a calming effect to so many of us, even if you may not feel calm yourself.” He nailed it and brought such a big smile to my face. If only he knew what was happening on the inside!
I look at the state of the world and I see so many of us struggling, suffering, feeling the pangs of loneliness and the fear of saying it. I see people protesting the stay-at-home orders by showing up to legislative bodies with automatic rifles. I see people blaming each other on the news. I see politicians lying about the reality of what’s happening, withholding their own opinions probably out of fear they will be destroyed if they go against public opinion.
I don’t know what stepping into that role means. It scares me. Who am I to do that? When will I be ready? I’m not good enough at X yet.
Maybe what my friends are telling me is that I am ready, that they want me to step up, that they want me to be there. Maybe I want it too.
1:10PM
