I like to learn. When people ask me why I’m writing this book and specifically, why I’m writing it in this format, I tell them that more than anything, I wanted to learn how to get really good at extemporaneous writing—having to write for 10 minutes for 3 times per day for 35 consecutive days will give me 105 chances to practice this skill. I’ll hopefully learn how to structure coherent arguments (and to do so right after waking up), type more quickly and accurately, determine what’s appropriate to say or not, and other unpredicted skills.
So far, so good. I seem to be learning a lot. And yet, this is not all that I want to learn (by the way, I’ve learned that I write “and yet” a lot). I also want to learn how to promote the work that I’m doing—something that I’ve feared to do and maybe it’s because I don’t know how to do it. This reminds me of a time I was with my friend Joe at his house near Lake Michigan. He had a small sailboat sitting there and he told me that he normally teaches people how to sail by putting them in the boat with him and then tipping it over. He said he wants them to know that’s the worst thing that will probably happen and therefore feel more comfortable playing within the extremes.
I also want to learn how to broadcast my work. I also want to learn how to manage other people. I also want to learn so many different things.
Sometimes I think the challenge is that I want to learn too many things. Not just those above, but how to juggle, paint an artwork, sing, dance, etc.
Maybe the other challenge, and more heavy one, is that when I learn something, I often want to learn more of it. I learned how to juggle over the last year or so and now I want to learn how to juggle with four balls or in more complex patterns. I think I can often get caught up so much in wanting to learn more that I forget how much I have learned.
This last point hits me hard. I often feel frustrated because I look at all that I haven’t learned yet, instead of feeling proud looking back at all that I have. I was talking with my Accountability Buddy yesterday and he had reviewed some of this writings. He expressed shock at how I have been able to write these in 10 minutes and have such coherence. For me, I was grateful he said that and also a bit confused, as yes, I think they have been coherent and I also am striving to learn how to do them even better.
On one hand, I love how I strive to learn more and more. On the other, I hate how I don’t pause to recognize how much I have learned and appreciate it.
As I finish, I’m grateful that I’m improving and have learned a lot over my years.
