I’m noticing that in the mornings, I’m tending to write about what it’s like to wake up in the mornings—more about what’s going on with me internally than what’s going on in the outside world.
I think that’s because for the whole night, while sleeping, I’ve just been subject to my own environment: no TV on, just dreams in my head, the sights, sounds, touches, smells, and other environmental cues in my immediate surroundings. Basically, I only absorb what’s already in my head or just around me.
However, throughout the day, I start looking at my phone, watching TV, and talking to other people, and in this process, receive input from so many people. This input can be new ideas, new thoughts, and more often than not, new emotions. I receive how other people are feeling and that mixes with how I’m feeling, and often seems to trump it (as a side note, it amazes me how hesitant I am to use the word “trump” now that Trump is in office).
This emotional reception has been one of the reasons that I’ll sometimes turn my phone off throughout the day—I may just want to sit with my own emotions without absorbing those of others. This relates to watching the video yesterday of the political commentator—as I watched, I could feel myself absorbing the anger and frustration, and, if I don’t process it, could leave feeling more angry and frustrated than when I began. On the contrary, watching a Global Citizen concert last night organized by Lady Gaga, in which many world-famous musicians performed, I repeatedly found myself brought to tears, filled with a sadness, a hope, and a joy that probably would not have come to me just in my household environment.
As I type this, I start to question how I will often use my phone immediately after waking up. It’s almost as if each day is a blank slate, starting with just “my” emotions (if there are owned emotions)—more like starting with just X emotions—and then when I grab my phone, I insert Y, Z, Q, and all these other emotions into the mix.
Maybe I’ll try to refrain tomorrow from the phone.
