DailyJim: When we speak with certainty, we are often avoiding conflict

Hello everyone, welcome to another Daily Gem. This is the episode for Tuesday, October 29th. And yeah, yesterday I said it was October 29th, but that's because I recorded after midnight. This one is also after midnight. Today I want to talk about how when we speak with certainty, we are often avoiding conflict.

So i've noticed in a lot of this political campaign and in many interactions i've had throughout life where people will go into certainty this is how it is and i say but that's not how it is i'm not sure if that's what's going to happen you know but that's what's going to happen see this is happening is it but that's not necessarily going to happen and if you listen to Donald Trump or some other political figures, they will often say it so certainly, that this is right, that is wrong, this is happening, that is not happening, this is the best, this is the worst. Very certain, very extreme language, but I think the certainty is what jumps out. And i've been seeing it more and more in my life and i realized it's like i think the certainty is not wanting to admit the conflict not wanting to admit the tension not wanting to admit the ambiguity i think ambiguity probably uh ambidextrous ambidextrous amba i believe means two, if I'm remembering my Greek or Latin roots correctly, and this element of more than one thing happening at once brings conflict, brings tension. And to admit the uncertainty, to admit the ambiguity means to admit that things are in conflict, that there is a potential that this will happen, a potential that, that will happen, a potential that, this will happen. And.

I think a lot of us don't want to admit that there's conflict, because if we admit there's conflict, then we have to address the conflict. It's much easier to pretend that there's no conflict. And I can tell you, hey, so many organizations I've been in where they're like, no, no, we're all on the same page. And I said, no, you're not. They said, no, but we're all going in the same direction. I said, but you're not. No, but we are. I said, can I interview everyone? They say, sure. And I interview everyone. They go, well, apparently we're not all going in the same direction. Yeah, you're not. There's a lot of conflict that's hidden because a lot of us are avoiding it. And sometimes if we state it with certainty, it doesn't mean that the conflict goes away. And I was thinking about that earlier. It's like, is it that some people have more conflict in their lives? Or do we have maybe about the same amount of conflict? Like right now my voice is a little sore. I'm wondering, is that because, you know, my dad just tested positive for COVID? Is it because I've been stressed out and running around? Is it because I haven't drank enough water? Is it because my body started to relax and, you know, a little drainage into my throat? Is it because I might have COVID, even though I tested negative? So many different competing thoughts going on, so many conflicts happening just internally with me and thinking, okay does that mean I have more or less than other people or is it just that I'm more aware of them.

Because I think at some point we think oh if you become rich you don't have conflict you don't have conflict if you become rich oh if you're very beautiful if you're very strong you don't have conflict you don't have conflict if you're beautiful and strong so I think it's more about, our ability to manage the conflicts, be aware of the conflicts, dance between the conflicts, resolve them if we may, but then more pop up.

Really to engage with them. And when somebody, when any of us goes into the certainty, maybe that's just us saying, hey, I don't want to admit that there's conflict here. Because to admit that there's conflict may cause a lot of stress for me. I'm trying to avoid the conflict. I'm trying to pretend that the conflict doesn't exist. And so don't you keep reminding me that it actually exists because I'm going to deny it. I don't know. Speaking of which, I am going to go sleep and hope that I feel better tomorrow and that this voice is more just me being super, running really fast trying to get stuff done so take care y'all i'll talk to you tomorrow.