DailyJim: Sometimes people know how we’re feeling better than we do

Hello everyone welcome to another daily gym today is the episode for tuesday april 2nd 2024, i want to talk about how sometimes other people, know man sometimes other people have a better idea of how we're feeling than we do I'll summarize that and maybe a shorter title but this whole idea is that I was doing a lot of work on the website and I'm recording this late again and while I was listening to some of the episodes I did before I was checking okay how is the sound quality this and that I go oh Ooh, ooh, I hope it was a bad recording because I sound bad. My voice sounded really tired, really kind of strained. And I can feel it now because I'm aware of it. But that night it sounded really strained.

I'm wondering. me. You know, the whole idea is that sometimes we don't know how.

Extremely we're feeling something and that sometimes other people can see it a lot easier than we can so maybe for us it's become somewhat gradual you know our change happens slowly over time and so me I get slowly more tired as the day goes on but if someone were to see me fresh they might be like whoa what happened to you and I'm thinking nothing I'm fine I'm here what are are you talking about? What happened to you? I am doing as I did. And they may strongly disagree.

I was on a podcast episode last week. I don't know if it was with Mary or Nancy. I'm going to get the one with Nancy up pretty soon. But it's this idea of, you know, sometimes people can get really frustrated when we say, I know you're angry, or I know you're feeling that. So I say sometimes, you know, it seems like you might be feeling angry. And yeah, as Nancy suggested, something about just saying, it seems like something is up. You know, you are feeling something to be even more generic about it. And I can see the benefit in that because sometimes the, we could be really off or more importantly, the person, maybe we are accurate to how we would label it, but the other person may label it differently. So maybe they don't use the word angry. Maybe they use the word frustrated in that particular situation.

But sometimes I think we We can perceive the other person's emotional state better than they are perceiving it. Doesn't mean we're going to use the right word, but I think sometimes other people can't, we can do this for other people and other people can do it for us.

So sometimes there are things that we are doing that we're not noticing. There are facial expressions that we are doing. There are postural things that we are doing. There are vocal things that we are doing. There are movement things that we are doing. There are memory things that we are doing. There are so many different things that we're doing with our bodies that we may not be fully aware of. And especially like the facial expressions. We can feel them, but we can't necessarily see the facial expressions we're making.

And so I'm becoming hypersensitive now, as I noticed, I said like expressions, I really slurred that word. So I'm aware that I'm tired and you all are probably very, very much aware of it. Um and yeah so i think i talk about this because i appreciate sometimes when people are pointed out to me now sometimes i get pissed off but i appreciate when people are saying what they observe about how i'm feeling not telling me what i should do necessarily but just i notice that you're you're behaving in this way that that you've done this over and over again, or you seem to be doing this and it's uncharacteristic of how you normally behave. Or I see you, you look tired. Oh, I remember there's one conversation when I was in Germany, I was talking to this one person on a project and I was leaning away and I wasn't even fully aware of it because my buddy was coming in and he runs a project and And he was trying to pull me out of the room.

And she says to me, she says, do you want to leave the conversation with me or something? And I'm confused, what? And I was so grateful that she said that because she was perceiving my turning away from her and wanting to leave the room. But I said, no, no, no, no, no. I actually want to stay so much in the conversation. The reason I'm turning away is because I think he's going to come in and yell at me for having too much conversation with people. I enjoy the conversation so much. But if she didn't say that, then maybe I wouldn't have been so aware that my posture was doing that or it was communicating that to her.

I don't know if this is a good example of what I was talking about. I'm tired, as you could tell. So I'm going to end on that note. But just this idea of...

Not being so stubborn in not listening to what other people are saying about how we feel. Again, advice on what we should do, that's a different story. It's a topic for another day. But on what they think we might be feeling, yeah, man, I'd love to hear people's perspectives on that. Just that I don't necessarily agree with them but sometimes they could be a lot more accurate than me and sometimes I will disagree with them in the moment and then a few hours or days later go man that was that was spot on on that note I'm gonna sleep talk to y'all tomorrow.