Transcript
Everyone welcome to another DailyJim it is The episode for Thursday 16 June 2022, today I wanted to talk about talking into the void and more so about how.
Podcasting like this almost seems like a practice for me in terms of opening up and not getting any response. No, I mean if you think of what what's the phrase we often use in relationships that unrequited love, but this idea that we could give something in one direction and it would be un reciprocated, non reciprocated, I don't know that it doesn't come back to us so we give it out and doesn't come back, and I've been thinking about this a lot over the last couple of weeks, just this idea of.
Really opening up even if the other person is not necessarily opening up as well.
And I've seen it more kind of impersonal life where at a friend of mine who doesn't want to open up too much, is going through some rough stuff and so wanted me to share more about what was going on with me, you know, actually was okay with it appreciated it, I find sometimes I have a tendency to ask other people questions, I'm curious what's going on, How are you feeling? What's happening? You know, and follow up questions. Oh, so you said this, what happened after you said that etcetera etcetera and in doing so I can often almost put all the attention on them, not always intentionally, but and so it's been an interesting shift for me to try to. Open up and speak even if people aren't asking me questions, and for me not to ask the other person questions. And so I see this platform as practice for this, and in general, I see broadcasting as practice for this, which can help us in our relationships. So this idea of opening up, seeing how we're feeling and seeing how we're thinking, even if the other person doesn't say so. You know, and I've noticed there can be a certain, wow, look at me distance, I can feel very vulnerable at times when I open up and say something, and I don't know how the other person is interpreting it, or in this case, I don't know if anyone's listening to it or who's listening to it, or when they listen to it or what response, or how did they feel when they heard it? And. I think it's that swirl of uncertainty that can both make me feel vulnerable, but also sometimes almost this overwhelming feeling of being alive. I don't know what's going to happen, I'm putting something out, I'm trying something and then I don't know how it's going to be received. I don't even know how I'm going to react to it most of the time. This inability to predict how I'm going to feel in the future, which I think many of us struggle with. Actually there's a professor named Daniel Gilbert who gave a talk called hit a book called stumbling on happiness. They talked about how it can be very hard when we go to the grocery store to predict how we're going to feel in the next couple of days. So if we were really hungry, we buy more food, then we will be hungry in the future days or if we've just eaten, then we often don't buy enough food for the hunger that we will have in future days. And so a lot of times you can't even predict how we're going to feel in the future, let alone how other people are going to feel. And I don't know, I think more and more this may be an important skill because I think we all broadcast in different ways. Right? So even posting to facebook is a broadcast in a sense because it is casting to a broad audience, If you post on instagram or Snapchat or even sending an email or if you post on next door or A lot of these even group texting, you know, if you're in a group that's got 5, 10 people, maybe, even not even a couple, it's still, sending something out, not sure how the people are going to respond to it. If they responded. So I think, I don't know, I in a way, I've been enjoying this practice, maybe there's.
I don't feel as vulnerable because I don't know, maybe I'm not going to the depth of the things that I think I would talk about. Maybe there isn't the immediate response to it. So I don't have that immediate sense of vulnerability yet. I think over time, who knows, go back to it. I don't know how I'm gonna feel in the future. Maybe I'll go, wow, I can't believe I recorded all those things or I'll look back and feel frustrated. I didn't actually go that deep or I'll look back and smile and laugh and or be grateful. You know, perhaps I'll be grateful or even proud. So it's hard, I think to know how we're gonna feel the future. It's also hard to know how other people going to feel and so I am enjoying in the moment, this practice of putting it out there and not knowing how people are going to respond because why not? What's the alternative to sit and hope and wait and see and, and try to predict how everyone's gonna feel. Trust me, I've spent plenty of time doing that. It doesn't, it's not so fun. But okay, it can be a little fun. Anyways, at this point, I'm tired went out, I played some golf today with some friends at this driving range called top Golf and I am zonked out. So um thanks for listening and talk to you soon.
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