Transcript
Hey, hey, hey, welcome to another DailyJim it is May 23rd monday 2022. And today I'm gonna talk about intensity and kind of like this idea of just matching intensity. Um, so the initial thought came from, some relationships that I've had in my life and just how sometimes there can be a mismatch in intensity or a desire for intensity or closeness. And um I think intensity can capture many different details, but I don't think, I don't think it only applies to relationships. I think it also applies to things in general, like perhaps a type of movie that you want to watch or music you want to listen to or an experience that you want to have, and just trying to match the intensity of the experience with the intensity that we desire. Again, if there's a relationship in there or some type of whether it's romantic or professional or who knows what familiar there's trying to match it with the other person's desire as well.
And I think, I don't know, I just, I don't hear people talk about it a lot, you know, I guess I was thinking about it in the context of music for example. Um you know, maybe we want to go see a nice smooth jazz concert, but the opening band is a heavy metal band, A ha this reminds me of going to see the Rolling Stones. I went and saw it with my dad and a friend of ours and I was so excited to see them. You know, honestly, I didn't know how many other songs that I knew, but I was excited to be in the place seeing the Rolling Stones, especially because it had been a very long time in the pandemic, not going out and seeing concerts. And I think the band that opened for them was playing very heavy loud music. I'm just thinking this is too intense for what I want for an opening band for the Rolling Stones and maybe other people wanted that intensity. But personally, I didn't want that type of loud kind of. Yeah, like soul shaking music at all that night, but especially from the opening band that I didn't know and it had kind of a different, I don't know if the word is timber to it, it felt rougher then what the Rolling Stones would do. And so I use that analogy or that that story to talk about just how many things may not align with the intensity that we want, the experience that we want. Um.
You know, I thought about it a lot in my personal life kind of in romantic relationships, but also when it comes to work, you know, I remember the first time that I ran an emotional self defense class, my buddy who was there said Jim you need to slow down, this is advanced ninja shit, and I was like come on man, like no, I don't want to slow down, but I found myself actually slowing down a bit, or being afraid of being too intense because I don't think the other people that were there wanted it to be so intense. What's another example, I remember like I was doing some of those exercises from emotional self defense at this place in Oakland called impact hub and I was doing it from the stage, how do you feel when you think about this? How do you feel when you think about that? And then I went into step two, which is how do you imagine this person might feel when they think about this? And so then then step three say one thing to connect with love, so I did all three steps and my buddy, a different buddy came up to me after that, he says, whoa, whoa, step one is plenty for most people just start with step one, and I'm thinking but I want to go faster, I want to go more intense, and so I think I'm taking this week to step back from WhatsApp and from being online too much to really reflect more and ask myself that question, what intensity do I want um on a romantic level, what intensity do I want? On a professional level? What intensity do I want? On a teaching or learning level? What intensity do I want? On a family level? What intensity do I want, etcetera? It's at a traveling level, so many different ways to look at intensity, and maybe the intensity changes with time. Maybe sometimes I want more intensity in this spot and then less in this spot. Um but just really to pause and try to ask myself, what intensity do I want to have?
And not just I think I often will try to match the intensity that other people want, which often means me toning it down. So I'm really asking myself do I want to let myself be this intense. So anyways, I talk about this because I imagine many of you out there also are dealing with issues of mismatched intensity um whether it's stated or some understated issue that may be coming up. Sometimes these conflicts can creep in where we don't even recognize them. So I just wanted to get that out there and discuss it a little bit. It feels a little weird to be reflecting so much vocally while I'm kind of retreating from the Internet in other ways. So anyways, I hope you enjoyed this episode and look to talk to you tomorrow, joe.
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